Wednesday, August 13, 2008

25 and alone

Today at work one of the guys that I work with came up to me to tell me about this guy he wants to hook me up with. He said the only problem was that he lived in Bountiful. He has been telling me about this guy for about a month now, I was hoping it wouldn't work out because I don't really trust his match making skills. But today he came up to me and said he talked to him and the guy said that its just to far. I agree, I don't have the time to drive from here to there. I must not be that desperate, yet. My question is: Do people take pity on me? Why do they all want to hook me up with this guy they know? This is the end goal, something I've wanted since receiving my first barbie and ken dolls. But as I've grown from being that silly girl that would marry anything, to the person I am now, I know I can stand on her two feet. I have to trust in the Lord. As much as I plan, I must recognize that it is the Lords will and not mine. I watch a lot of Friends and thought of this.

I am okay with the fact that even though 25 is my scary age, and the thought of not being married at 25 never crossed my mind, but it's coming and I'm fine. I readily accepted the Lords plan. I thought after the broken engagement with Phil, that life was over. I told myself over and over again that there was NO way I would choose this. Me, the hopeless romantic, who found Prince Charming, name and everything, I wouldn't set my self up for complete devastation. But I now see where the Lord stepped in and forcefully against my will opened my eyes to a world that I had never thought of, and how thankful am I for that. There is a quote that I saw in the Relief Society folder that they pass around each week in class, that has the roll and other announcements and there was a quote. Now I don't know what the obsession with C.S. Lewis is but I did like this quote. I don't know if it is because of the construction aspect or that it clicks 100% for me. It really does put it all in perspective and gives you that comforting feeling that there is someone who is watching out for you. He is there giving us little faint arrows to follow.

Here is the quote : "Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you know those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of-throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage; but He is building a palace."
C. S. Lewis (Mere Christianity, p. 174)

1 comment:

laura said...

Love this quote! Life never turns out how you think it will. But looking back, you realize how the Lord has worked things out just right for you. I think sometimes people at church have a way of making you feel abnormal if you aren't married by 20. Intentional or not, I can see how people can make you feel that way. Just remember that you are only 25, Abby!!! It's better to be single for the rest of your life than to be in a relationship with someone who is not as wonderful as you are! You don't need someone else to complete you. You complete yourself and hopefully a guy will come along someday and compliment the person you have already become. I also love that episode of Friends. Huge Ross fan here!