The Lord and I have an ongoing battle. I ask for things and he answers/grants small things that I don't think to ask for(ie green traffic lights, a short line at the store, parking in the garage when it snows). And He usually grants those small things after I ask for the bigger things. I guess its His way of letting me know He has heard me. For the past few weeks I have been asking for something, if even a chance at it, and I've seen the little things happening for a while but nothing associated with the bigger thing. Then yesterday came. It was fast sunday and so I fasted and kept my mind on those things, I listened to the lessons and testimonies that were given searching for an answer and was later lightly prompted to do something, but I just pushed the idea out of my head thinking it was something I was over thinking to better another situation.
MAN, was I wrong!!!!! I should have just listened, even if I thought it was just me over thinking it. So now I'm more confused on the answer. Did I screw it up? Do I miss things because I'm hardheaded? Did He know I would over think it and that was my answer (it will always be out of my reach) ? Am I thinking to much trying to find an answer in nothing? Am I looking to hard for Him to answer quickly? I'm such a yes, no, black, white, cut dry person when it comes to solutions, I don't like this blurred leave it up to thinking kind of answer. Was that my chance at His answer? Should I just give up and take it as my answer that I don't have a chance at it? How many chances if any more will I get to listen?
I should have never asked in the first place then there wouldn't be all this confusion! Then while linking the topics above I came across this talk!!!! HELP!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Precursor to retirement?
Classes have been done since the 16th of December. My days were full with Christmas shopping and stuff. Now that the holidays are over and classes are going, I'm finding myself with a bunch of free time, and its driving me crazy! Before I was always busy, but not overly stressed, well maybe stressed but thats what I fed off. Now 5pm hits and I'm wondering what to do with the next 5 or 6 hours. It took me around two weeks to finish decorating for Christmas but only 3 hours to take it down and put it all back in the basement. Yesterday we got home from church at 4pm and I made enchiladas, rolls, watched the end of the Eagles/Green Bay football game and decorated the house for Mardi Gras all before 7. I hope things get busy soon, or I might just make everything in my cookbook and start all those home improvement jobs I never got to. I know I should enjoy the downtime but like I told Cindy last night its hard just sitting there doing nothing. I'm not complaining, I just need some new hobbies, any ideas?
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