Monday, July 28, 2008

Engaged and Underage

This past weekend I was checking facebook and I saw something that surprised me. It took my breath away, and not in a romantic way. Living in Provo, you get used to people getting married young, 20 to 22, but there is always the urban myth of getting married at 18 or 19. This is seen as an great accomplishment, where a metal should be given to you. To some this will come to a shock, and no this is not the rantings of a single almost 25yr old girl/maid in Provo. I am happy for her and wish her only the best. But my sisters friends got engaged this weekend. She is 18. She just finished her 2nd semester of college. I know most of you are thinking why is this such a big deal, this is what you(me) always wanted for yourself. You(I) wanted to get married and have kids, you(I) never thought about going to college or getting a degree. Why is this blog worthy? My first thought was wow, she will never get to experience anything for herself. This young girl has been sheltered her whole little life and has never had to struggle. I called my sister to inform her/ see if she had heard. One point she brought up was that she will never have her own bank account. She will never experience single college life, living with roommates/ learning to deal with differences, fending for herself. Yes, I do know that my parents are just a phone call away if I need something and they do help me out; but I have a sense of accomplishment that I have my own bank account, I bought a car by myself, I have to be responsible and try not to remember my parents are there if I fall. I think back when I was 18 and how badly I wanted to get married, I almost married a creep, good thing he had the since to do something dumb and cheat on me or otherwise who knows. I was so in love with the idea of being a wife and mother it didn't matter who the guy was. I am not saying that she hasn't found Mr. right, maybe she has and Congrats to her for not having to play the game for very long. Congrats for finding the right guy for her. I just think back to when I was that age to now and I see how much I have done, what I have learned, how proud I am of myself. I think back and remember how shocked my parents were when I called them after the 2nd guy screwed up and told them I wanted to go to college. They were in shock, they didn't know what to say, and then I confused them even more and said I wanted to do construction. If I hadn't of had that time to figure things out and 'suffer' for lack of a better word I know I would have been happy, because I wouldn't have known any other way. But I am thankful that the Lord saw fit for me to go through trials and not have the plan I wanted, because he know that I needed to grow up. I have learned that I can make it on my own. I don't need some silly guy (even though one would be much appreciated) to co-sign on a car, or apartment, or bank account. I wanted to include a few pics from the past few years to see how much I've grown.
Las Vegas with Amanda.
Halloween as Dora the Explorer.
leftover tinfoil used from an FHE activity.
Getting another Halloween outfit ready, Barbie.
Camping/freezing to death at Goblin Valley.
Ward activity it was Valentine's Day.
One crazy night I think there was too much Mt. Dew.
A friends 80's themed birthday.
Dying Easter eggs.


DiaNe said...

I love the pictures! It is nice to see your persepctive about marriage. Your life has been so immensely blessed because of roomamtes (ME).

DiaNe said...

and what happened to "It will be an adventure full of dissapointment"???


Multiple kudos to the writing of this blog. Lately, I have been having "Holli pitty parties." I keep thinking that maybe I missed out on previous opportunities for marriage...BLAH...but really, Heavenly Father is protecting my dumb self from all these retard guys I think are so great! You are so right about the things this girl (I think I know who you are talking about) will not get to accomplish independently and it sad. I can happily say that at the drop of a hat, I can go on a spontaneous road trip with my amigos, move wherever the heck I want, spend all my money on what I want(after tithing of course), and flirt with any and EVERY guy that I feel the need to "show some love to." LOL. Ok, my rambling was simply supposed to say that I totally agree with ya! Love you Abz! :)

laura said...

I think 18 is crazy young to get married. My sister who goes to BYU Idaho is already starting to feel like an "old maid" as she puts it. She is only 20 by the way. How twisted is that? I tell her not to be decieved by their Jedi mind-tricks up there. Nobody tells you that when you get married young, you are also poor as heck! Don't get married until you find the right one, even if you have to wait a little longer than everyone else. The worst thing you could do would be to settle for Mr. "Right Now" just because you don't want to get left behind. I love reading your blog, Abby!

Moffitt Mania said...

I know who you are talking about!! How weird is that. but my sister saw that on facebook too and told me last week. My sisters other friend is getting married soon and she is so young too...only out of high school one year. I mean I know I got married young, but at least I had some time to live on my own, have some great experiences, and date around! I'm glad you have such a great perspective. You have have so many great memories!