The begining

I started this blog a few days ago, and I don't really know why. I guess I needed a place to put things so I could clear my mind. We have been told forever that we need to keep a journal and I just can't seem to do it. I think this might be because I have a great memory. I can remeber the smallest of details from years ago. Another reason I think I haven't started a journal is because I think 'where do I start?' 'Do I go back and give a brief history of my life, or do I just start with today? and when I think about all that I start to think about my past and realize a lot of the memories that I thought I would never forget are starting to fade and I do not remember as well. I also thought I don't want to compile a journal because I don't want it all to be about guys. Theres more to me than that. Since I don't know where to start I think I will just begin with today (the most recent things) and incorporate those items ferom my past in future postings.

Whats been going on? Well, I moved to a new townhouse in Provo. I love it. The place is new, clean, and huge-compared to other apartments in Provo. I've gotten a new job working as a personal assistant to the owner of a steel company. I used to work for a construction company, which I loved but was let go due to the bad market. No one wants to build million dollar homes when there is a fear of recession. I am in school and will hopefully graduate in August of 2009. I never thought I would be here. Never in my life had the idea of going to college and getting an actual degree entered my thoughts. In high school, when everyone was worrying about their grades and completing applications to their dream schools, I was dreaming of the perfect guy and life I would have in the years to come. When I was asked about where I was going to college or what I wanted to major in I avoided the question or changed the subject and made many of my career driven friends irritated when I told them I wanted to get married and have kids. Little did I know when I moved out to Utah the life and experiences I would have on my journey. No, I am not married, I do not have the happy little family I dreamed of, but I do have strength. I have motivation to make something of myself. I am independent. I can stand on my own two feet and say, very cautiously, 'bring it on.' I have grown in so many ways. I don't think the kids I went to high school would recognize me.

This past weekend there was a walk for babies. This walk was to inform and raise money for babies. There were posters of babies that had been miracles, some that hadn't made it, and some that we growing everyday. I tried to hold back my tears, for fear of being laughed at by my sisters. That's one thing I wish I could change. I wish I wasn't so soft. I wish I didn't cry at everything.

With moving into our new place, my roommates have granted me the job of decorating the apartment. I love this. I get to use a hammer, nails, and my measuring tape. It is still a work in progress and I will post pictures once I get batteries for the camera, finish decorating, and learn how to post them on here.